yeah, im gonna hit the hay now
“Sex sex sex”
"I keep hearing it everywhere."
"Sexercise. Sexpectations. Sexpertise. Sexchange. Sexciting. Sexcuses. Sexams."
“I don’t even want to think about her fuckin’ camel toe, yuck. Now you’ve put disgusting images in my head and they’re not going away. I’m sure she can make one song about her being a shit or over-obsessive girlfriend who scares all of her boyfriends away. I bet it would hit number one on iTunes within minutes. Never? Gosh, you’re lucky. Relationships are gross and messy.”
"Hey, at least, I’m not alone anymore. She needs to not so tight high wasted shorts. We’ll see, we’ll see. She would top the charts, if she did. Really? Is it that bad? Should I be scared?”
“Well that’s rude. I’m an innocent little boy, if anything pedos would be creeping on me,” he snorted. He had to bite his lip to hold back the fact that you need to actually have sex to be a pedo. “Are too,” he shot back, sticking out his tongue. “You still live with your mum?” He asked, a bit surprised. He’s been away from home for a year now. “I’m not a little boy, I just act like one.”
"I’m not sure if someone would actually want to rape you.", she joked. After what felt like hours, they both finally crossed the street and headed into a much more relaxing and quiet street. The girl could already see the cute little sign of the cafe. "Sadly, yes.", she replied, quietly. "You look and act like one.", she said with a matter-of-fact tone.
He rolled his eyes sarcastically, “Come on get your shit together, Piper.” He smirked, “So you think I’m strong huh?” he winked. “But no, only thing I can cook is easy mac and two minute noodles.” he admitted.
"That’s the problem! I can’t.", she flailed her arms. "Well, you’d rather have me say that you’re weak, then?", she narrowed her eyes. "As long as I can chew and get something in my system.. Don’t poison me, though."
“At least they’re burning calories.”
"Yeah, but in a painful way. Jogging can’t disturb your neighbors."
“She’s had so many fucking boyfriends and all she does is write songs about how it’s all their fault and whatnot. Like you’d think that she’d actually consider that maybe she’s the problem, but nope. Oh, I totally agree. Her songs are just mainstream now and it’s yucky. But I’ve never liked her so.”
”.. She keeps showing her camel toe. Maybe she does, but doesn’t admit it because that would kind of ruin the whole point of her songs. I might be the only girl who can’t relate to her because I’ve never been in a relationship.”
“I-I guess they do. ..Oh, o-one night stands are icky. W-Why don’t you just ignore ‘em?”
"Wow, I don’t know what to say.. Yes, they are very icky. They get STDs and shit. Oh, because they’re my cousins? I forgot to mention that little detail."